Existent North Carolina Takes on Nonexistent Child Molesters

Thank Gender-Secure God for North Carolina. Just as God made man in his own image, man made public restrooms in his own image, and North Carolina has ensured they’ll stay that way. Charlotte, North Carolina, recently passed a law saying transgender people could use the restroom of the sex they identify with, and Governor Pat McCrory knew he had to do something. After all, the overwhelming antonym of evidence shows that every time one of these laws passes, it’s only a matter of time until child molesters take advantage of it. McCrory called a special session of the state legislature, confident they’d be swayed by the wealth of research he’d collected from the Journal of Hasnteverhappenedemiology. Together, they passed a bill saying only the state legislature could make such laws. No longer would cities, counties, or municipalities be able to make anti-discrimination laws pertaining to where transgender people could use the restroom. Finally, North Carolina’s children would be safe from a threat that never existed.

Of course, you can’t make an imaginary omelet without breaking ALL the eggs, so it also made it illegal for cities, counties, and municipalities to make ANY law protecting the rights of transgender men and women. And, just for good measure, it went ahead and made it illegal for them to pass laws protecting the rights of gay men and women, too. Fortunately, cities, counties, and municipalities can still make their own laws protecting religious freedom. It’s a win-win-win, since LGBT members can now be discriminated against by people who claim they’re being discriminated against by discriminating against them.

Oh, and the bill also says that cities, counties, and municipalities can’t make their own minimum wage laws. Because, if there’s one thing child molesters love more than tolerance, it’s wages that adjust to the standard of living…

Advertisements